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Showing posts from 2009

Temporary Home

"Old man, hospital bed 
The room is filled with people he loves 
And he whispers don't cry for me 
I'll see you all someday 
He looks up and says "I can see God's face."
"This is our temporary home 
It's not where we belong 
Windows and rooms that we're passin' through 
This is just a stop, on the way to where we're going 
I'm not afraid because I know this is our 
Temporary Home." 
~Carrie Underwood
I can close my eyes and see it as if it were yesterday....every sound, every detail, every face that surrounded that hospital room.  If I linger too long, the thought begins to haunt me.  I had seen him weeks before, and weeks before, he had been fine.  He was not fine, however, when I finally got there.  There are many things I want to forget, but there is one thing I will always remember.  When I walked into the room, tears began flooding my eyes at the very sight of his condition.  As I held his freezing cold hand and told him I loved him, h…

A Perfect Lullaby

I love this time of year...the shopping, decorations, presents, songs, parties, stories, and most importantly, the purpose. I love reading the story of the birth of Jesus, trying to close my eyes and fathom a time when the world looked completely different than it does today. And while my eyes focus on the beautiful baby and God's perfect plan, my thoughts are drawn to the woman behind the scenes...Mary.
The heart of a mother is vast and deep and can only be truly understood by those who have walked in the same shoes. As a mother of two I have found that as mothers we flock to each other. You can have an hour long conversation with a complete stranger about your children. We find comfort, relation, support simply in sharing our own experiences. There is one mother, however, who I long to know. Mary! A simple child, chosen by God to raise, not just a child, but the King of Kings. My thoughts cling to her often. Were there times she not only doubted God, but doubted herse…

Roof Crashing Friends

I recently read a chapter in a book that changed my whole perspective on a familiar bible story. Many have heard the story of the paralyzed man who was lowered through a roof to see Jesus. We hear the story and our hearts naturally draw to the suffering of the man and the grace of Jesus. How often, however, do we think of the man's friends? Yes, the miracle itself was big finish in a moving story, but what about the heart of it....the details, the small pieces of the puzzle that make it complete?
Imagine a paralyzed man, sitting on the side of the road every day, completely dependable on people around him to clean him, clothe him, carry him. He was probably lucky to have escaped death as an infant rather than being killed for his deformity....although I am not sure he would have considered this luck. He is defined to others not by who he is, but the image he portrays....and yet, he had friends. Not just friends, good friends. "Here is a little band of men who refuse to le…

Inspiration

Guilty! I love to be inspired! I enjoy finding that perfect song, line from a book, sign on the road, heartfelt conversation....that literally speaks to my heart. My newest inspiration, however, comes from a man. I don't know his name or where he lives or what makes him unique, but he is there...every morning...same place...same routine. Two years ago my route to school changed directions. That was the first time I noticed him. In all honesty, I was probably sipping on my coffee, listening to music, running lesson plans through my head, and trying not to hit the guy walking on the side of the road waving his arms in the air as an exercise technique. I can imagine that I didn't think twice about seeing this old man walking that day, or even the many days that followed. Somewhere along the way, however, he began to grab my attention. I started looking for him on my drive and found a smile come to my face each time he appeared. He was always there, rain or shine, hot o…

Learning to Dance

The Lord speaks to me in many ways, but today he spoke to me through dancing! My husband and I have talked for years about taking a dance class together. I love to dance.....any music, any time, anywhere. What I have discovered over the years is just that...."I" love to dance. It works when I dance...flows. When my husband and I get together, however, it doesn't look quite so eloquent. What is funny though, is that I have never placed the blame on myself. Dancing is an art. It takes patience, practice, dedication. It is letting go of control and learning to work with your partner. Isn't that just what a marriage is all about? I was very humbled tonight at this thought. How often do I allow my husband to lead me? How often do I follow his steps, surrender to his direction, trust in his support? This is an area that is very difficult for me. I've realized though that it isn't until we learn to "selflessly" dance together that we finally…

With Age Comes Wisdom

Wisdom truly is a gift.....one I so desperately envy, yet one I don't always fight to gain. However, what truly defines a wise man? Is it how much he knows or how he upholds himself in the situations life throws at him? Over the years I've found that my first reaction to things is not always "above reproach." But today was different. Today I shocked myself! I have been reminded lately of something a dear friend told me, "Everyone in life will always let you down. Only God is always there, always consistent, and will never fail us." As I reflected on this statement and those that have hurt me in some way, I found my reaction to be understanding, almost compassionate. Instead of my usual response of talking aloud trying to make situations make sense, I began to pray. "Lord, this person may have let me down, but they are still your child. You still love them as much as you love me. It does not make them a bad person just because my feelings ma…

Pages Turned, Bridges Burned, Lessons Learned

"And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned."~Carrie Underwood
I love music! While melody and songwriters do influence my taste at times, a good lyric can completely draw me in. Music speaks to me. I find it can pull the deepest thoughts and desires out of me and actually put them into the words that I don't know how to form myself. It is understanding, relational, and reminds me that others out there go through/feel the same things I do. There will probably be many blog entries that begin with a song.
Those who are close to me know that the past several months have been very difficult for me. I always knew that having two children would be a challenge, however, I was not prepared for what I discovered about myself in the process. I …

My Outlet...

I love to write. I have always loved to write. However, I have found that my desire for writing only pours over me when I am passionate for something. As I get older I find myself passionate for so many things that my heart feels at times like it wants to literally jump out of me, share my thoughts, experiences, lessons. I desperately need an outlet to allow myself this escape....no matter if it is simply me and the world. So here it is.....here begins my "write" of passage.