Sunday, March 6, 2011

You Can Have Me

I write about God a lot. Not because I live my life perfectly, not because I fail miserably, but because my heart and my mind are constantly in battle, fighting to find, seek, relate, and discover my purpose in Him. Tears filled my eyes the first time I heard this song, and the more times I hear it, the more I fall in love with the lyrics. Most of the time it is words that move or inspire me, but this song....challenges me.

"When did love become unmoving? When did love become unconsuming?"
When I heard that chorus for the first time, a part of me felt like it was what my heart has been screaming at the Lord for such a long time. Duties, responsibilities, life-lessons, loss of innocence, pain, strength, perseverance.....all things the past years have given to me in my journey into adulthood. All things that left me relying less on faith and more on myself, to accomplish, succeed, and pretty much ..... just get it done. No wonder I am unmoved. No wonder I am unconsumed. No wonder those lyrics spoke right into my deepest longing. When did I not allow God to be enough for me anymore?
"If I saw You on the street
And You said come and follow me
But I had to give up everything
All I once held dear and all of my dreams
Would I love You enough to let go
Or would my love run dry
When You asked for my life."
Ultimate surrender. I think about that often, what it would be like now, to just give it all up to God, to lay my life down and just STOP trying to be in control. I'm not even talking about seeing Jesus on the street and choosing to walk away from everything just to follow him. I just mean in the day to day. What would it be like to STOP talking, STOP planning, STOP worrying, and START listening, START trusting, START living? I used to say ALL THE TIME that "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans." And I honestly do believe that. As a matter of fact, I can think of quite a few times where I'm quite certain I've given him one of those great, contagious, pit of your belly laughs (a good Jonte laugh)!!! So why is it so hard?
"If you're all you claim to be, then I'm not losing anything."



1 comment:

  1. Wow, that song is so good!!!!!!! really brought tears to my eyes and really made me think of what i need to be doing instead of thinking i should be doing!!!!! I really enjoyed this post and needed it. I am glad God laid it on your heart to post it! Thank You

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