You Can Have Me

I write about God a lot. Not because I live my life perfectly, not because I fail miserably, but because my heart and my mind are constantly in battle, fighting to find, seek, relate, and discover my purpose in Him. Tears filled my eyes the first time I heard this song, and the more times I hear it, the more I fall in love with the lyrics. Most of the time it is words that move or inspire me, but this song....challenges me.

"When did love become unmoving? When did love become unconsuming?"
When I heard that chorus for the first time, a part of me felt like it was what my heart has been screaming at the Lord for such a long time. Duties, responsibilities, life-lessons, loss of innocence, pain, strength, perseverance.....all things the past years have given to me in my journey into adulthood. All things that left me relying less on faith and more on myself, to accomplish, succeed, and pretty much ..... just get it done. No wonder I am unmoved. No wonder I am unconsumed. No wonder those lyrics spoke right into my deepest longing. When did I not allow God to be enough for me anymore?
"If I saw You on the street
And You said come and follow me
But I had to give up everything
All I once held dear and all of my dreams
Would I love You enough to let go
Or would my love run dry
When You asked for my life."
Ultimate surrender. I think about that often, what it would be like now, to just give it all up to God, to lay my life down and just STOP trying to be in control. I'm not even talking about seeing Jesus on the street and choosing to walk away from everything just to follow him. I just mean in the day to day. What would it be like to STOP talking, STOP planning, STOP worrying, and START listening, START trusting, START living? I used to say ALL THE TIME that "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans." And I honestly do believe that. As a matter of fact, I can think of quite a few times where I'm quite certain I've given him one of those great, contagious, pit of your belly laughs (a good Jonte laugh)!!! So why is it so hard?
"If you're all you claim to be, then I'm not losing anything."



Comments

  1. Skyes ScribblesMarch 7, 2011 at 5:22 PM

    Wow, that song is so good!!!!!!! really brought tears to my eyes and really made me think of what i need to be doing instead of thinking i should be doing!!!!! I really enjoyed this post and needed it. I am glad God laid it on your heart to post it! Thank You

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Goodbye 2010

As I sit and look back on the past year of this blog, it is funny the thoughts that come to mind. I can literally remember every post and the purpose behind each writing....which, in itself, brings both joy and pain. 2010 has been one the best and most difficult years that I have ever walked through. Rereading my posts, however, I see a clear picture of "me" in them. Each one is spun with a happy ending, an encouraging thought, maybe even an insightful epiphany. It makes me wonder why I do that, why I write that way. And that is when it hit me....it isn't that IT IS always happy, encouraging, or insightful, but I write with hope...hope that it can be. So it is with hope that I say goodbye to 2010 and look forward to 2011. Hope that I will take the lessons God has given me this year and make me stronger, better, and brighter for the years to come. Just a few things I've learned this year (in no particular order): *I am a social person. I love people. I love to...
Read more

My Everest

There is a Thanksgiving episode of Friends where Joey convinces Monica to make a turkey even though no one else is eating it that year. Joey swears that if she will cook it, he will eat the whole thing. You see a shot of Joey, looking stuffed, sitting behind a turkey that looks completely eaten...until he turns it around and reveals the other side had not been touched. His famous quote (at least in our household)....."You are my Everest." While I have been able to jokingly use that line in many different circumstances, it proves itself most true when it comes to running. I am NOT a runner by nature. I can remember walking all of my miles in gym class with the teacher yelling for me to hurry up. I am admittedly not an athlete (I mean, come on, who has time for that? I was too busy being social!). And honestly, I just can't do it! I have never had the lungs, never had the strength, and piled behind all of those excuses, I have never had the desire. In the past two ...
Read more

Holy HATS!!!

It is that time of the week again, or if you are lucky you've allowed two weeks in between....the dreaded grocery visit. If you are a stay at home mom you have both a love-hate relationship with this store. You walk aimlessly down the isles, thankful, one, to at least be out of the house and, two, for remembering to make that list before you left. As if you can actually remember what you need once you enter this endless land of (crying, screams, grabbing things off the shelves) food items! You usually allow yourself 30 seconds to think, "Do I dare enter empty handed? I mean...my children are EXPECTED to behave a certain way." And once that ridiculous thought passes, you reach for the....sucker, goldfish....basically anything that will provide you with a few minutes of concentration on what you are actually there to do. If you can relate to this at all, then most likely you can probably relate to the events that occurred BEFORE leaving the house. While sparing det...
Read more