A Beatin' Heart

Today started as it usually does on a school day:  boys wrestling in my room, tv on, me in front of the mirror trying to put myself together as best I can for a tired mommy who overslept, scrounging to get out the door....not on time....but acceptably late.  For just the slightest moment, looking at my own growing belly in the mirror, my mind began wandering to a sweet friend of mine, a friend who has been struggling to get pregnant for quite a while now.  I began to pray for her and her heart, for strength, for faith, for peace in the waiting, for continued hope. HOPE. The last conversation I had with her felt withdrawn, empty.  I asked if we, our study, could continue to pray for baby and she brushed by it with a quick response, "You can, but I'm not.  I'm over it." HOPE. Hope is the easiest thing in the world, and yet sometimes, the most difficult.  Through a trying few years, prayers that still linger unanswered, continually watching her friends...

I love to laugh. I love to make people laugh. I love to be silly and play games. I love my friends. I love deep conversations and investing in other people. I love giving and helping others. I love my kids and find joy in their smiles, laughs, hugs. I enjoy life. And some days, every part of me hurts. December 21, 2010 Well over a year ago these were the words and emotions that overflowed so easily from me.  As I sat on my back porch today looking up at the sky I thought to myself how different of a place I am in now. It feels like a lifetime ago, yet I can so easily close my eyes and remember what that "lifetime" felt like. I recently read in one of my studies that 'every kind of season and weather you experience has had to pass through God's fingers before coming into contact with you.'  On one hand that is such a refreshing blessing.  It provides a glimpse of hope that we are truly not the one in control of our lives.  It reassures that He knows the deepest ...