A Beatin' Heart

Yes, I am a self-proclaimed sap...and proud of it! I can't help it...was born with the gene...to feel vastly and love deeply! So I am admitting to the world that I struggle with the concept of love sometimes. I know movies are movies and books are books, and that we can't compare real love to what we discover in stories. However, there is a part of me that is conflicted with that response. I believe that as people, if we are able to be moved enough to not only write stories/movies of such depth, then somewhere, someone has had to "feel" that intensely. In my heart, it can't just be dreamed up. How could the God that has given us the ability to dream so far not also give us the capacity to love just as great? So the purpose of my post.....I have just finished reading Wuthering Heights. I have really enjoyed reading the classics lately. I love finding myself in a different time period, allowing these books to be my eyes into the way life was long before me.

I'll never forget the last time I walked out of my childhood house. I was home from college for the weekend. For whatever reason, my mother and I had been arguing, and I stormed out angry. When it finally hit me that the next time I longed for home I would find myself in another house, my heart completely sank. I sat outside, hiding myself between the one foot wall separating the garage doors, put my head in my hands, and sobbed. I knew, through my immature actions, that this was not the way to leave. My pride, however, kept me from reentering my house. And I left. I left. Those words....that memory...still aches my heart with grief. I think about going back there often, knocking on a stranger's door, explaining who I am. Each time I am in town, I drive by and notice from the outside alone how much it has changed, and decide that I don't want my memories to be clouded by foreign images. When I heard this song, it took me back. I am so thankful that no matter how